FIRST TRIP June 2016

The first trip I went on after John Passed away was to the east coast of Canada. My cousin, Jacqui, passed away at the end of March the same year. John’s passing was still very raw. My mum needed to go to that celebration of life and my sister and I were going to get her there. We took a red eye flight out of Edmonton to Halifax, from Halifax to Deer Lake NFLD. At this point in time I was very numb and just getting through one day at a time barely remembering my own name, and constantly preoccupied with this new life I was supposed to figure out.

I was keeping my eyes open for any signs that John’s spirit hadn’t really gone that far away. As we were approaching Halifax international airport, the sun was coming up. We were still above the clouds and the beauty of that just took hold of my heart in such a big way. It was so beautiful and powerful to me that I found my face wet with tears. I was so very grateful that I had a window seat and could hide my wet face. I felt so close to “God” at that moment.

The time in NFLD was difficult..Saying goodbye to Jacqui and dealing with my own grief. I felt like I was floating most of the time.

The day of Jacqui’s funeral was really a magical day. I don’t know if it was being with a great part of my family of if John was really close, but there were things that happened that day that made me feel like the other side wasn’t really that far away.
The place where her service was held was at a beautiful property in Gros Morne National Park. The scenery would take your breath away and it was a lovely warm spring day. The private, family members only part was on a boat, where we, Jacqui’s immediate family, went out to spread some of her ashes in the waters that she spent so much of her life near and on. My Aunt read a story from a book that was very appropriate for the day. It’s called “The Next Place” by Warren Hanson. A fabulous short story and very appropriate to read to a child that doesn’t understand death. It is a very appropriate story for an adult too at a time when the death of someone so dear has happened. Later in the evening the boat was docked at the harbor near Jacqui’s favorite pub. Friends and family gathered to celebrate Jacqui’s life and tell funny stories. She was a great storyteller herself. At a point in the evening, while hanging out on the dock, I looked into the water and noticed the most beautiful blue sparkle. It was dark out, and not something I had ever seen before, being a prairie girl. It’s something called Bioluminescence. It does happen in the Atlantic ocean but not usually at that time of year. I took it as another sign…I will always keep my eyes and heart open for them.