Change…The constant that is rarely easy. Coping skills are key and can help get us through the worst of it, sometimes. Lately it feels like there has been a shit storm that started in early January and has only subsided momentarily. (Like when I’ve gotten the hell out of the country!)
I think the most important thing through all adversity is to try to remain calm at all costs. It’s so important for the physical health too. After reading great books like, The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. and, When the Body says No by Gabor Mate, M.D. It has been driven home in a big way the importance of keeping stress and anxiety at bay. The Dis-ease can, and does, manifest to the body. Nice people that stuff the shit that bothers them are the most susceptible to diseases like breast cancer, M.S. and stomach and intestinal tract problems as well as other auto immune disorders. Of course there is much more to it than that. It has much to do with trauma as well. It’s all in these two great reads and it’s another eye opener as to the importance of remaining calm and carrying on.
My tricks that I’m happy to share are tried and true and really do help me.
- Breathe! This is something we do naturally and often don’t even pay attention to it. There are several techniques to doing concentrated breathing. One of my favourites when under extreme stress is the “Box Breathing”…Inhale for 4 counts, hold it in for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts and leave lungs empty for 4 counts. Repeat as many times as necessary to calm your nervous system.
- Attitude of Gratitude! This is a little tricky when the shit storm is at a full fury but it is possible. Sometimes you can only be grateful for the smallest things and even they can be hard to see when all feels lost. I pick little things, that are really big things, liken the fact that I have a roof over my head, today I am healthy, my dog loves me. There’s always something, look for the good.
- Get Moving! I know that I managed to get off of antidepressants after John died was to get moving. My favourite movement is to go for a walk in the fresh air and breathe deeply. Look at all the beauty nature has to behold and how natural and easy it all is. We are actually all a part of nature, and it’s a good idea to remember that. I also love to watch the river go by and realise that whatever my troubles may be, they too shall pass like flow of the river.
- Journal! This one is a super gooder..I love it because I can pour it all out in words on a page and get whatever is really bothering me out. I don’t have to share it with anyone and I can say whatever I want without being criticised. Recently I wrote a letter to someone in a diary that I could rip the page out of. I was deeply bothered by a conversation that didn’t go well and there was nothing to do to repair it soooo, I wrote, ripped out the page, and burned it. Such great therapy and no one got hurt. The old me would have loved to punch her in the throat..Not Productive!
- Meditate! One might think that it requires a special cushion, sitting in the lotus position, with palms facing upwards and incense burning. NOPE, it’s not that. I only requires a few moments a day. I have the CALM App and use it every morning, before I get out of bed. I stay laying down and just breathe and follow the instructions. It’s calming before the days storms and just helps me be more centred and remember to come back to my breathing as the day goes. I like CALM because they usually have good daily affirmations and Tamara Levitt’s voice is easy to listen to. There are many to choose from so hopefully you can find one that works for you.
- Good food, less booze! This one is probably the trickiest of all for me to do. It’s easy to head to comfort food and alcohol to numb the senses. The problem with the numbing is that we don’t feel all the feels and that is in no way productive to turn things around. Also, a big problem with alcohol, is that it actually causes depression and it’s easy to let things spiral out of control, and go on days in a row where there is alcohol involved. Keeping it all in check and if that’s not possible then perhaps it’s time to talk to someone and try to keep it off the menu for the time being, or even permanently. Moderation is really key where this is concerned. Only you know where you are with this one. There are lots of resources out there to refer to also. A good book that I have read, Not Drinking Tonight, a guide to creating a sober life you love. By, Amanda E. White, LPC. This author has some very good insights and tools to understand so much more in this area.
- Control! Understanding what we can control and what we can not control. The picture at the opening of this blog has a good diagram, and it is good habit to stop for a hot minute and list, even just in your head, the things in any situation that you can control and those things that you can not. A big one is someone else’s behaviour! You can however control how you react. Also always remember that this too shall pass and how we adjust to all changes will directly affect the quality of our lives. It’s best to hone some helpful habits around it. And BREATHE!!
