This little book is really a big eye opener. It seriously is a little book that has a huge impact for me. I think every human being should read it and try to live by it as best they can. It was one of the first books I read on my path to a more peaceful life in all the ways. Especially learning how to deal with people but mostly how to deal with myself…
I”m only going to be able to summarise it so my hope is that you will have a listen on Audible or buy the book. The Four Agreements..A Toltec Wisdom Book.. By: Don Miguel Ruiz.
I suppose I should explain the Toltec before I go any further. Thousands of years ago the Toltec were known as Women and Men of Knowledge, throughout Mexico. They came together as masters and students at Teotihuacan, the ancient city of pyramids outside Mexico City known as the place “Man Becomes God”. Toltec knowledge has been passed on through the ages by different lineages of Naguals. Toltec is not a religion, although it honours all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth.
Domestication of the planet. Dreaming from the very beginning…Human’s are dreaming all the time. We’re born with the capacity to learn how to dream, and humans that came before us have taught us how, and what to dream. From the time we’re born we are being programmed to dream/think like Mom and Dad, schools, religion, etc. For many many years we have all been programmed about how to behave, what to believe, what’s acceptable, what’s good and what’s bad. Don Miguel Ruiz, calls this the domestication of humans and goes into a much deeper explanation in his book.
First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word
This is the 1st because it is the most important one. It goes on to explain how important it is to think about every little thing we say. Not just in speaking but also in thought. First of and for yourself, and then to and about others. Thinking about what you say to a child, or in front of them. Things that could be misinterpreted and carried through their life as if it were truth. Gossip, it’s a toxic use of our words. When you break the old agreements of how you speak to yourself as well as how you speak of and to other people and things, including your pets, your whole world starts to change for the better.
Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
This agreement and the following two are really born from the 1st agreement. Whatever happens to you, whatever is said to you, especially by someone who doesn’t know you. Even if they do “know” you. You only take it personally if you agree with whatever is being said or done. Nothing other people do is because of you, it’s because of themselves. This is a good place to remember the intro, where it referred to other peoples dreams/ideas. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to put our beliefs into their world. Even when a situation seems so personal, and you feel a direct insult, it has nothing to do with you, or anything else for that matter. It really has nothing to do with you, it’s them, and their story and belief system. Don’t bite on someone elses emotional garbage. This also means not taking compliments personally as they too are based on someone elses opinion. It may make you feel good and that’s okay. It’s all part of the principal of not taking things personally. When you take things personally you set yourself up for suffering.
Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions.
Whenever we make assumption s we are asking for problems. Take a moment and think about all the problems that have come into your life due to making assumptions, and taking things personally. By making assumptions we set ourselves up for suffering. We misinterpret and misunderstand everything. In any kind of relationship we make assumption that others think the same way we do, and we don’t have to say what we want. We make assumptions about other peoples behaviours, what they want and what they don’t want. They do the same when it comes to what we say and do and also make assumptions. It is so interesting how our human brains work. We want to make sense of everything we see and hear and will make up our own story. We also do this to ourselves and create so much inner conflict. In fact we do it in all areas of our lives, and all relationships. Becoming aware of all the assumptions we make in our daily lives is the first step.
Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.
This is the one that will allow the first three agreements to become deeply ingrained habits. Doing your best will not always be consistent. It will depend on what’s going on in your personal world. Did you get enough sleep last night? Are you getting proper nutrition into your body? Have you gone for a walk in nature? Have you taken a moment to sit in stillness and breathe? Regardless of all of that, keep doing your best, no more, no less! When you are doing your best, you are taking action because you love it, not because of a reward you may be expecting. If you take action for a reward rather than the love for what you are doing, you are not doing your best. Doing your best shouldn’t feel like work and it becomes about living fully. Doing your best is about living fully present in the moment, in everything that you do. You can only be, fully you, when your are doing your best. When you don’t you are denying yourself that right. Doing your best to honour these four agreements will change your life in the most positive ways. We are meant to be happy and loved and to give love. It takes great practice and self awareness.
I have only, very briefly, touched on the four agreements and haven’t explained it in anywhere near the detail that Don Miguel Ruiz does. All I can say now is Please, please, please pick up a copy or download on Audible. The book is short and easy to read. Ruiz keeps it easy to understand. Everyone would benefit from reading, or listening, to it! The beauty is in putting it all together to live our best lives, from the InsideOut.
